Microsoft cancels next surprise hit game

Thursday, May 16, 2024

Comments: 1   (latest straightaway)

Tagged: industry, layoffs, surprise, microsoft, satire

Dateline May 7th (or May 2, or Apr 12, or Mar 28, or...)

Microsoft shocked industry observers today by announcing the cancellation of its upcoming unexpected hit game. The title was still in production, and would have been launched with little fanfare, but would have blasted its way to the top of the charts as next season's surprise bestseller.

"Of course we don't know which game the hit would be," commented the team's (ex-) lead designer. "The next Arkane Austin game? The next Tango Gameworks? Alpha Dog? I guess now we'll never find out."

Microsoft executives insisted that the upcoming hit might not have been a Microsoft title at all. "For all we know, the surprise success might have been coming from Take Two or Electronic Arts. Or Sega. Or one of those Embracer acquisitions. Any of them! I mean," one executive added with a nervous cough, "Not any more. Obviously."

With the week's layoffs out of the way and the risk of a breakout success safely neutralized, Microsoft's remaining developers have settled back to work on their roster of sure-fire sellers. With its new focus on reliable, brand-tested IP and safe genres, the company can be certain that the only surprises in the next few years will be surprise failures.

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